Into the Vast Unknown . . .

Safety experts declare there are many dangers to be cautious of everyday in your house. I’ve always been intrigued by statistics on accidents including the ones that

happen in your own residence.   Yesterday I discovered a new hazard when I asked my husband to bring my checkbook.   Of course I got the usual reaction from him

“Where is it?”as I so often do when I ask him to bring me an object.  Is he trying to be funny?  If I ask for the milk he responds, “where is it?”  Well where else could cold

milk be?   Is it that only women have the concept of grocery geography?  Keep in mind that my husband and I do not own a cow nor do we use powdered milk so by

theory of deduction he should determine the locality of the milk should almost always be in the refrigerator and yet he still has to ask.  Sometimes I want to ask him for

ice cubes just to test this “where is it” theory of mine.   

 

Anyway,  the hazard I wanted to explain to you was not “where’s the milk.”   The most dangerous object in our house to my husband is . . . . my purse.  What is it with

men and going into a women’s purse?   I spoke to a customer the other day who needed her driver’s licence brought to her and I heard her husband respond, “Where is

it?”  She answered that it was in her wallet in her purse.   Then she laughed as she told me how he just brought her whole purse.  She never could get him – after all

these years of marriage- to actually stick his hand inside THE Purse.  Gee,  I do it all the time,  without fear, every day,  24- 7 .  Where’s the magic that happens once a

hand goes inside the purse dimension?   It’s almost as if men  think that their hand and possibly a portion of their arm will go into an unseen zone, a black hole

comprised of cosmetics, grocery lists, and loose sticks of gum.   It is clearly a guy thing.      

                                                                               

I’ve been diving into handbags since I can remember.   I consistently reached inside my mom’s purse as a child for a piece of gum.  Most commonly

during the sermons in church.   If there was no gum to be found, which was unusual,  I instead would retrieve a pen and notepad to draw pictures

to keep me preoccupied on that Sunday morning.   For the purse challenged,  there must be quite a different level of discomfort that prevents them from purse

exploration.

 

My father when he was growing up used to go “noodlin” and for those of you who aren’t familiar let me explain.   Young boys and men of all of ages would go to a

fishing hole where they suspected large-mouth fish to live.  Once they found a large rock or log covering an even deeper abyss they would  move the rock and stick their

own hand and arm down into the unknown to find a fish.   Relying upon only sense of touch,  once they felt something (who knows what it could be) they then forced

fingers into its mouth and pinched the unknown victim through its gills and brought  it up out of the hole.   Hello ladies! Doesn’t that sound a bit scarier than

venturing into a handbag?   Of course it does.   Who knows what your arm is getting into much less what your hand may snag.  Your hand may get snagged.   My point is

. . . if men can do “noodlin” than what’s the big deal with the woman’s purse?

I’m quite sure that neither Einstein nor Freud ever researched this phenomenon and I also know that we may never find a reason why men feel empowered to climb Mt

Everest but not retrieve a wallet.  One thing I do know for sure is that there really is nothing for them to be scared of.   I haven’t read in my insurance accident reports

anything to do with a man losing his arm after looking for a stick of gum in his wife’s bag.  And for all those men out there reading this story let me assure you that we

do not have a habit of putting bear traps in our purses either. 

In all fairness,  I concur that women have the own little fears and hazards that are probably just as strange as men’s.   In life and living we all will face a black hole of

uncertainty or a precipice of clouded view.    We need only rely on one true sense and that is God.   If we cannot see ahead, if we cannot hear or feel what’s going to

happen,  we do know by our spirit sense that God is with us whatever it turns out to be.   No matter what surprise or no matter what mystery eludes us in the end we are

comforted knowing that God’s love is the shield of protection.   God is our anchor in stormy waters and our lighthouse when we could get lost.  Everyone at one time or

another will face that big purse of unknown whether it be a Dooney and Bourke or a Nine West purse, God is there all the while – in the beginning, during and

afterwards.   What a great peace of mind that can be for anyone.

Now I can’t really solve the problem of your husband, father, brother, whomever not knowing the location of the most common household items but I think we have

discovered a much more important aspect in life.   You may not know what your are getting into but you know God ‘s already got a way out.

About wendydawn 65 Articles
Born in Oklahoma and grew up there. Attended college and I have lived in Arizona, Pennsylvania, Tennessee and now Florida again. I have been writing since I was a young teenager. I have children's books ( Where Is Grandpa? and Huggin' Jesus), novels, columns, and other works in progress. My latest novel is called "Famous By Default" and it is a romantic comedy. It is the first book in a 3 book series. . . Please stay tuned!

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