I’m going to go out on a limb here and boldly confess something about my marriage today. I could just act like my husband and I never fight, never get frustrated couple wise that is, never do this, never do that; but, . . . We’re married! Of course we do! Any 2 adults no matter how much in love they have differences, silly words, cross moments, and times of behind the back crazy faces.
My parents were married maybe 52 years and i never once heard them argue loudly or ever yell at each other, however; I do remember a lot of cabinet doors slamming and quiet moments with tension throbbing through the room air like a big booming sonic wave that could kill a whale in a nearby ocean . Recently, after another completely unnecessary argument with my man of my dreams I realized an astronomical epiphany. A statement that could change all domestic households on earth with one single effort. Something so basic and yet so overlooked by most and that includes Erma Bombeck and Dr. Phil: Don’t put your dishes away during an argument.
I had no idea what a dark force lost dishes in cupboards could be until it happened to me and on top of it I was the one to have caused the mishap. My husband no matter how hard he tries still has some clever original way of finding homes for the dishes when he empties the dishwasher. It’s not so much the plates and bowls that are challenging for placement it’s more the gadgets finding their correct homes that’s the problem. Nevertheless, my husband is very good about doing such chores so I cannot complain or not for very long anyway. The other night he and I had a disagreement and as we debated each other back and forth picking up volume and passion shall we say within that argument I at the same time was putting dishes away. At the time I didn’t think about what I was doing because I was too busy flapping my gums and pleading my case. The next day, though I knew something was amiss. My dishes, kitchen gadgets, knives, lemon juicer, measuring cups were amuck! Eeeegads! How could this have happened, I asked my, self righteous inner persona and in a split and sadly undeniable second I knew that I alone was the culprit. It was me alone who had abandoned organization without even realizing that I was destroying placement systems the night before. I should have never put dishes away while punting hyperbole back and forth with my sweetheart. This feeling of guilt and shame of chaotic disorder had a big effect on me.
The dinner I had started to prepare began to burn, the ingredients in the recipe I was making began to shrink and my head started to ache. How could I have let this happen? And most importantly, does anyone else know? The cat surely knows, but at least she can’t talk. The dog – well, I think you know from my previous columns that he’s basically clueless.My daughter, she would notice for sure, but she is still at school and then last but not least my husband. He would notice but he wouldn’t say anything especially if he knew why I did it. If he knew that it was because of our grievances the night before he would swerve from any subject pertaining to the matter for fear that I would just blame him for it in a round about way anyway. Which I would. Isn’t that part of being a woman anyway? I mean shifting blame to the man and eating chocolate that is. Just kidding my girls! After fast and furious hand motions that enabled everything to back in place in my kitchen cupboards I began to hear God speak to my heart. Yeah I know what you’re thinking he was probably telling me not to argue with my husband . . . nope. He’s told me that tons of times. ( I told you I was confessing after all!) What God reminded me that terrible day is focus, focus, focus. In my life these past few months, years, centuries I have had so much going on that my brain nor my heart and soul can juggle these tasks efficiently. I lose my focus on one thing because I am trying to do many things at the same time. However, it is when I keep my focus on only one thing, God, that all the other things line up underneath magically in an order where success can be achieved.
For instance, say you child has a couple of school functions coming up that you need to volunteer and fill out paperwork for, and you have to buy this month’s birthday gifts to get into the mail on time, and the cat needs to go to the vet, and you need to budget for the month, and you need to do this or that, and decide on a church, get new tires for your truck etc . . . There is no way you are going to make it through successfully and sanely tallying all those things up on some to do list and force feeding yourself the list without choking! No way! Tooo many things at once I tell ya! Instead, think “AHHHHHhhhh God. My heavenly Father, my provider, my comfort, my shelter, my get things done dude” and all the other dark matter filling up that empty space in your head will orbit around your focus on him allowing peace, patience, and completion. I have been so slack about this that God had to ruffle my feathers with my crazy kitchen stunt to get me to realize I was off the one and only track to be on. His track. His timing, His plan, and his way. And then there is still always that I shouldn’t be arguing with my husband thing too.
We live in a world today that has cities requiring all their residents to meditate at the sound of a town bell. We have the lost wondering around us in a daze completely blinded by sinister propaganda and hidden demons. We have allowed ourselves to think that the only way to deal with hustle and bustle is to work harder, go to yoga, lift weights, drink blessed water, or take St. Johns Wart. How about we don’t put the dishes away when arguing? Don’t operate heavy machinery while sleeping and don’t think of all the things you have to do without thinking of God first. He is first. He was first no matter what textbooks of today read. And, He should be first continuously. Let all that other junk come after him so that he is there with you to do it all. Trust me you will feel more focused, more relieved, and He is definitely the King of organization. Noah couldn’t have managed the whole 2 of every animal on an ark for 40 days and night thing with out a great organizer right? Why should you?
Born in Oklahoma and grew up there. Attended college and I have lived in Arizona, Pennsylvania, Florida, and now Tennessee. I have been writing since I was a young teenager. I have children's books ( Where Is Grandpa? and Huggin' Jesus), novels, columns, and other works in progress. Please stay tuned!